My neighbor who always comes out and talks to me when I have the dog out came out with a Christmas card. He said, “there’s nothing on the front because…of the pornography inside. No, just kidding.” But I’m still afraid to open it. Why can’t I ever live anywhere surrounded by normal people?
“There is an immediate atmosphere created that discourages fruitful conversation.”—My dad, engaging in the family art of amusing euphemism, on what happens when he tries to discuss alternative cancer treatments
“This book infuriated me; but that is not a defect in it, because it is supposed to infuriate people like me, and the author would have been happier still if I had blown out an artery. In short, this book is flawless, because all its deficiencies are deliberate products of art. Given its assumptions, there is nothing here to criticize.”—The fine art of the scathing insult - Boing Boing // This is awesome.
“Sometimes in life, you find a special friend. Someone who changes your life just by being a part of it. Someone who makes you laugh until you can’t stop. Someone who makes you believe that there really is good in the world. Someone who convinces you that there really is an unlocked door just waiting for you to open it. This is forever friendship. When you’re down and the world seems dark and empty, your forever friend lifts you up in spirit and makes that dark and empty world suddenly seem bright and full. Your forever friend gets you through the hard times, the sad times and the confused times. If you turn and walk away, your forever friend follows. If you lose your way, your forever friend guides you and cheers you on. Your forever friend holds your hand and tells you that everything is going to be okay. And if you find such a friend, you feel happy and complete because you need not worry. You have a forever friend, and forever has no end.”—Unknown (via cosive)